Robert W. Perkins, Jr. :-)

Today would have been my dad's 74th birthday.

He passed away on October 29th, 2008 of Renal Cell Carcinoma, or simply put, kidney cancer. 
During a doctors visit for what he thought was the flu, they did a body scan and found a golf ball sized tumor in one of his kidneys.  They operated on him, and removed the entire kidney.  This was in December of 2002.  For the next six years, he suffered through more pain than a human should have to, as more tumors popped up all within his body, in his last year of life.  One tumor was on his upper left arm bone.  They operated on that, removing the tumor, and placed a metal rod where the damaged bone material was.  Another tumor, the size of a man's fist, appeared in his abdomen around the same time.

The end for him was peaceful.  He passed in his sleep between 3 and 5 am, at his house.  Mom and a caregiver where there.  He was never alone at the end.  It was what he deserved and got.  Him dying in a hospice place, or worse, a nursing home, was NOT an option.  Mom wanted him to be home.  God bless her, she took care of him in his final weeks.  She had to bear witness to his suffering, and if there could have been a way, Dad wouldn't have wanted Mom to see him in his final days.  But, that was out of his control.
 
He was born in Greensboro, NC on October 23rd, 1939.  He was the second child to R.W. Sr., and Margaret Perkins.
He lived in Greensboro until July of 1966, when he, mom and I, all moved to Charlotte.  He did his best to support his young family, by working in the printing industry, starting in the manufacturing plants, and labs, mixing ink colors, making batches of product to sell to the industry for carton and other printing projects.

Then, he transitioned to being a salesman for various companies up and down the East coast.  Many companies that did business through him, will tell you he was a man of integrity, a reliable person to do business with.
 
To his family, he was a loving, caring and nurturing man, who loved his wife (as crazy as she could get at times, and I say that with love, I hope you know, LOL) me and my younger brother Bob. 
He spent time with his family, and did all kinds of things with us.  He came to my softball games, he played chess with my brother, he would accompany my mom on various shopping trips.  We all would go to Myrtle Beach nearly every summer for over 20 years.  He was a family man, and didn't run off to hang with the boys like a lot of the other men he knew.
 
To those who really know me, they know the close bond I had with him.  Me and my Mom are not close, I will admit.  He was the one who mentally had to be both parents to me.  Mom had issues when I was a child, and Dad was the one who gave me the attention I was seeking from her.  I'm not mad at Mom, she did the best she could, and I do love her.
 
I have also often said, "Thank God for him, because I might not have made it through my teens had he not been there."  I would have probably run away from home, dropped out of school, might have done drugs, who knows.  I was afraid of Mom, and he was someone who was the buffer.

When I came out to my dad, in January of 1994, it didn't faze him.  He already knew, and it didn't change his love for me.  When I hear the term, "unconditional love" I think of Dad.  He actually went in to the White Rabbit Book store with me once.  I told him he didn't have to, but he wanted to go in, anyway.  It was things like this, that really touched my heart.

When I got my first tattoo, he knew about it.  Mom yelled at him because he didn't talk me out of it.  I guess he thought that since I was 23 years old, I was old enough to make my own decisions, lol!

He taught me how to drive a stick shift.  The days of me cussing and getting frustrated while trying to learn how to drive a stick shift, probably drove him nuts, but he didn't let on that it did.

He always took us out on our birthdays.  We always had family time together.  Holidays were usually spent with the Perkins side of the family, because Mom wasn't close to her family.  Dad's family became Mom's surrogate family in a way.
 
All in all, he was the best father ANYONE could have had.  As I grew older, I heard my other friends tell me they wished their father was like mine.  A lot of my friends didn't have what I now know, was a true blessing.

He passed away on October 29th, 2008.  His funeral was actually on Halloween, something he would have gotten a kick out of.
 
October will always be a special time of year for me, because I love the changing of the seasons, the colors of the leaves as they turn, and the fact that Dad was born, and passed in the same month as all of this happens.

I love him, and I miss him.

And I hope when I'm gone, my ghost will love him too.

Until next time...